All over town the script is the same,
The swanky bars want a celebrity name,
But us normal folk just ain’t willing or able,
To pay a thousand quid bar tab just for a table.
The posher the place the worst the banter,
As z-lists and wannabes go in at a canter,
We stand outside with rain on our face,
Knowing we ain’t getting into this place.
But it’s busy tonight and the guest list must wait,
And this is something that wannabes hate,
They think they can waltz up and go straight down,
All thinking that they’re the main face in this town.
We stand in the queue and we watch for while,
And see for the first time the bullet proof smile,
Of the bouncer that’s nice, even when he says no,
Even when he’s sworn at, it still doesn’t show.
I stand and wait for him to turn me away,
As dozens of people rack up to say,
I’m mates with the owner; it’s always the same,
Do you know who I am? Do you not know my name?
They push and they surge to force themselves in,
But not one of them can steal the bouncer’s broad grin,
They shout and they swear, but he still doesn’t frown,
As the crowd shouts as one; I’m the most famous in town.
But it’s full downstairs, its’ one in one out,
Not even that stems their arrogant shout,
The guest list is fuming, they’re starting to bitch
You’d best let me in, I’m famous, I’m rich.
We stand in the queue, all mild and meek,
Is this what it’s like for the bouncer all week?
Smiling politely as folk scream and swear,
All saying things they wouldn’t normally dare.
The insults like bullets fly through the air,
But don’t lessen his smile or ruffle his hair,
They bounce off his teeth but don’t shatter his grin,
Shout all you like, you’re not getting in.
He smiles politely as the girls start to hiss,
Standing quite happy but not taking the piss,
Then with no warning and to my great surprise,
The smiling bouncer looks straight in my eyes.
It’s my turn for rejection but there’s nothing to fear,
You’re in- he says -with his smile ear to ear,
The guest list gasps – in horror, I’m in,
His bullet proof smile, my Cheshire cat grin.
Copyright©2011 by Phil Martin